Well, not doing too bad. My weight was at 158 yesterday, then 157 today. So I'm not as bad as I thought. I gained 3 pounds over the holidays so that's not so bad.
Anyway, have done great the last 2 days. Worked out both nights, very, very sore. Shoveled the driveway for about 40 minutes yesterday as well and was sweating up a storm!!
I went to get some groceries yesterday and seeing as how I'm tempted by pizza, I bought one from the PC Blue Menu. For 1/2 the pizza it's 12 gr fat and 460 cals. That's pretty good for dinner, especially if I eat a light lunch and have that for dinner. So, instead of being tempted by cooking the whole thing, I cut it in 1/2 frozen, then froze the other 1/2 for another night. Little changes, right??
I also just finished "Losing It" by Valerie Bertinelli and went today to get her next book, "Finding It." They are all about her lifelong battle with overreating and food. I really enjoyed the first and now hope to enjoy the second. I am starting it tonight.
Anyway, gotta run, not lots of time to write...
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Monday, December 28, 2009
Day 15
Well, I didn't even bother weighing myself since the last post, Day 9. I have been a bad girl, but not incredibly bad. Just enough to not want to weigh myself. Yes, the holiday food was just too much to reject. It started Christmas Eve at my mom & dad's...mom had nothing but hors d'euvres (spelling?) and wow, it was all so good. Especially the sour kraut and cheese dip...oh my god, if food could give an orgasm, that would have been it. I had too much. I paid for it the next day with horrible diarrhea (sorry if that's gross).
Next day was Jamie's family dinner. I didn't do too bad at dinner, because I had stuffed my face with munchies beforehand that were also there. I remember thinking about what was going into my mouth but I just didn't care at that point. I was so hungry. I didn't do any self-talk before I went so it was a lost cause. I need to do the self talk way more, as it really does help me stay focused.
Next day was also a write-off, because we stupidly took home the leftover dish I had made - broccoli and cheese casserole. Talk about pure fat on a fork. And I ate it all day long. I'm so ashamed.
Got hammered on Saturday night with my hubby. Not feeling good at all on Sunday. But had yet another dinner to attend - it was his dad's birthday so we all got together for lasagna dinner. Again, I did fairly well at dinner, because I pigged out on chips and dip beforehand. I have to admit though that I barely had much to eat all day. I also had a piece of rubbarb pie for dessert. Let's just say by nighttime my mood was very bad, and knowing my hubby was going back to work out of town for several days started the old anxiety attacks. I had chest pains, heart palpitations and couldn't get to sleep until after 1:15am. Baby woke up at 4:45am and my eldest at 5:00am. Not fun. But I did great today with food. I am soooooooooo proud of myself.
I was so depressed because my friend was supposed to come over and spend the day and have supper. She is such a big help to me with my husband isn't home. She is GREAT with the kids and is wonderful company for me. She's like family. Well, the weather outside was FRIGHTFUL, and she has a cold, so she didn't come over. I felt so lonely. So I thought fuck it, and pulled a pizza out of the freezer for dinner. I was so intent on devouring it. Then I started to think, at least if I'm going to pig out, I have to at least read the nutrition label on the side. If I'm going to eat it, it's better to know what I'm eating. I read the label. It wasn't pretty. I decided to put it back in the freezer. Instead I ate 3 low fat chicken strips and steamed beats and sweet potato. I actually put it back. I stepped away from it. I couldn't believe it.
I also decided tonight that I'm always in a rush to put the kids to bed so I can workout before my shows start. It's not fair to the kids or me. I look forward to watching my shows to zone out after a long busy day. So because I love the Jillian Michael's DVD, I decided to go through it with pen and paper and write down the exact # of everything she does and all the exercises (now that I'm familiar with the workout). Now I can do it in front of my shows and work out while I watch TV, instead of feeling rushed to do the DVD before my shows. That way I have NO excuse.
Anyway, will be weighing myself tomorrow. Not looking forward to it but the blog is helping keep me accountable, so that's a good thing...cause even when I mess up I go back to being good because finally I feel I have to be true to this. Thanks Jen for all your support. I knew you'd be my biggest fan on this! lol
Next day was Jamie's family dinner. I didn't do too bad at dinner, because I had stuffed my face with munchies beforehand that were also there. I remember thinking about what was going into my mouth but I just didn't care at that point. I was so hungry. I didn't do any self-talk before I went so it was a lost cause. I need to do the self talk way more, as it really does help me stay focused.
Next day was also a write-off, because we stupidly took home the leftover dish I had made - broccoli and cheese casserole. Talk about pure fat on a fork. And I ate it all day long. I'm so ashamed.
Got hammered on Saturday night with my hubby. Not feeling good at all on Sunday. But had yet another dinner to attend - it was his dad's birthday so we all got together for lasagna dinner. Again, I did fairly well at dinner, because I pigged out on chips and dip beforehand. I have to admit though that I barely had much to eat all day. I also had a piece of rubbarb pie for dessert. Let's just say by nighttime my mood was very bad, and knowing my hubby was going back to work out of town for several days started the old anxiety attacks. I had chest pains, heart palpitations and couldn't get to sleep until after 1:15am. Baby woke up at 4:45am and my eldest at 5:00am. Not fun. But I did great today with food. I am soooooooooo proud of myself.
I was so depressed because my friend was supposed to come over and spend the day and have supper. She is such a big help to me with my husband isn't home. She is GREAT with the kids and is wonderful company for me. She's like family. Well, the weather outside was FRIGHTFUL, and she has a cold, so she didn't come over. I felt so lonely. So I thought fuck it, and pulled a pizza out of the freezer for dinner. I was so intent on devouring it. Then I started to think, at least if I'm going to pig out, I have to at least read the nutrition label on the side. If I'm going to eat it, it's better to know what I'm eating. I read the label. It wasn't pretty. I decided to put it back in the freezer. Instead I ate 3 low fat chicken strips and steamed beats and sweet potato. I actually put it back. I stepped away from it. I couldn't believe it.
I also decided tonight that I'm always in a rush to put the kids to bed so I can workout before my shows start. It's not fair to the kids or me. I look forward to watching my shows to zone out after a long busy day. So because I love the Jillian Michael's DVD, I decided to go through it with pen and paper and write down the exact # of everything she does and all the exercises (now that I'm familiar with the workout). Now I can do it in front of my shows and work out while I watch TV, instead of feeling rushed to do the DVD before my shows. That way I have NO excuse.
Anyway, will be weighing myself tomorrow. Not looking forward to it but the blog is helping keep me accountable, so that's a good thing...cause even when I mess up I go back to being good because finally I feel I have to be true to this. Thanks Jen for all your support. I knew you'd be my biggest fan on this! lol
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Day 9
First off, my lack of writing does not mean I messed up my weight loss pursuit! I am finding it hard to sign in on the weekends because it's Christmas and the party season is in full swing! I also have 2 little ones which makes it difficult as well.
I've also decided that many days I will not be able to input my calories and fat intake as sometimes I don't have time to calculate it until the very end of the day, or if I know I'm doing great that evening and within my cal & fat goals, then I'm not gonna go nuts trying to calculate everything. No, it does not mean I'm slacking!
In fact, I'm down 6 pounds!! I'm so excited. Yes, I know, the first few come off the easiest, but I'm still proud.
Not happy with my new Jane Fonda DVD and am sending it back. Love the Jillian Michael's 30 day shred DVD - it is so quick - 25 min max and OH MY GOD do you sweat!!!!!!!!!!!! It's non-stop because it's such a short workout. It's great for people like me who don't have a whole lotta time with 2 little ones.
Went to my Christmas party on Fri night and made a huge mistake. I drank my face off, and was so scared to go on an eating binge that I only had a very small plate of goodies, continued drinking and then puked my face off all night. What a drag. I was home by 9:00. Mom and my hubby had to help me and get me into bed and clean me up. How embarassing!
Then Sat night had another smaller friend gathering and because I knew that was coming I was very careful all day eating. Then I felt I could have a few goodies there as well. So I've been controlling it.
Went on a bit of a binge Sunday night but it was with fairly healthy stuff so I at least tried my best not to go crazy. Let's just say it's like I smoked pot instead of shooting heroin. Still not good, but got my fix with something not as devastating for my body. If that makes any sense at all. Or am I once again acting like a total addict?? Probably.
Anyway, gotta run. I've had a shower and am still sweating from my workout. Wow.
Weight: 156 lbs
Cals: 700
Fat: 18
Exercise: (30 day shred) 25 min.
I've also decided that many days I will not be able to input my calories and fat intake as sometimes I don't have time to calculate it until the very end of the day, or if I know I'm doing great that evening and within my cal & fat goals, then I'm not gonna go nuts trying to calculate everything. No, it does not mean I'm slacking!
In fact, I'm down 6 pounds!! I'm so excited. Yes, I know, the first few come off the easiest, but I'm still proud.
Not happy with my new Jane Fonda DVD and am sending it back. Love the Jillian Michael's 30 day shred DVD - it is so quick - 25 min max and OH MY GOD do you sweat!!!!!!!!!!!! It's non-stop because it's such a short workout. It's great for people like me who don't have a whole lotta time with 2 little ones.
Went to my Christmas party on Fri night and made a huge mistake. I drank my face off, and was so scared to go on an eating binge that I only had a very small plate of goodies, continued drinking and then puked my face off all night. What a drag. I was home by 9:00. Mom and my hubby had to help me and get me into bed and clean me up. How embarassing!
Then Sat night had another smaller friend gathering and because I knew that was coming I was very careful all day eating. Then I felt I could have a few goodies there as well. So I've been controlling it.
Went on a bit of a binge Sunday night but it was with fairly healthy stuff so I at least tried my best not to go crazy. Let's just say it's like I smoked pot instead of shooting heroin. Still not good, but got my fix with something not as devastating for my body. If that makes any sense at all. Or am I once again acting like a total addict?? Probably.
Anyway, gotta run. I've had a shower and am still sweating from my workout. Wow.
Weight: 156 lbs
Cals: 700
Fat: 18
Exercise: (30 day shred) 25 min.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Day 4
I messed up lastnight after I wrote. After my healthy snack of 2 rice cakes with cottage cheese, I saw 2 homemade cookies left that my mom's friend made and mom brought last time she was here. I thought about not eating them for a split second but then stuffed one in my mouth. After eating that one, I ate the other. I kept thinking 1) I've already blown it & 2) if i eat it then it's out of the house and no longer an issue or temptation. Arghhhh.....
Felt like crap afterwards, like a complete loser, like an addict. Whenever I watch these shows about druggies and relapses I always wonder why they didn't take a moment to think about their life before they relapsed. Now I get it. I had the first cookie in my mouth within a split second after I saw it. I'm no different than a druggie. It made me sad, but taught me not to be so judgmental about others.
I did well today with food, even after a brutal night with the boys up several times. I only got about 2 hours sleep. Finally the baby napped for a couple hours so I did too and that helped.
I just took 2 lorazepam so I could actually sleep tonight and I'm praying it doesn't start a binge. I'm also worried about tomorrow night - we are having our department Christmas "piss-up" and I know I'm getting shit faced, there's just no doubt, especially after having both kids by myself for 5 days in a row while my husband was out of town working. I'm worried I'll pig out and not be able to stop...but I can only deal with that when it comes.
No workout today. I'm just so freakin' tired and sore I can hardly function. I'm not going to beat myself up about it because the more I force myself to work out, the more I will resent it and then stop altogether. I have been obsessive about exercise in the past and I don't want it to get that way again. I want to be reasonable about it. I'm trying to set a goal of 4 times a week. I think that's a good, non-obsessive amount for someone with 2 small kids.
Anyway, starting to get tired and I need to go to bed soon.
Weight: 158 lbs
Calories: 1369
Fat Grams: 24
Felt like crap afterwards, like a complete loser, like an addict. Whenever I watch these shows about druggies and relapses I always wonder why they didn't take a moment to think about their life before they relapsed. Now I get it. I had the first cookie in my mouth within a split second after I saw it. I'm no different than a druggie. It made me sad, but taught me not to be so judgmental about others.
I did well today with food, even after a brutal night with the boys up several times. I only got about 2 hours sleep. Finally the baby napped for a couple hours so I did too and that helped.
I just took 2 lorazepam so I could actually sleep tonight and I'm praying it doesn't start a binge. I'm also worried about tomorrow night - we are having our department Christmas "piss-up" and I know I'm getting shit faced, there's just no doubt, especially after having both kids by myself for 5 days in a row while my husband was out of town working. I'm worried I'll pig out and not be able to stop...but I can only deal with that when it comes.
No workout today. I'm just so freakin' tired and sore I can hardly function. I'm not going to beat myself up about it because the more I force myself to work out, the more I will resent it and then stop altogether. I have been obsessive about exercise in the past and I don't want it to get that way again. I want to be reasonable about it. I'm trying to set a goal of 4 times a week. I think that's a good, non-obsessive amount for someone with 2 small kids.
Anyway, starting to get tired and I need to go to bed soon.
Weight: 158 lbs
Calories: 1369
Fat Grams: 24
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Day 3
Up all night with my eldest who is having terrible nightmares. I was so tired this morning. Thank God the baby slept until 6:15 (that's sleeping in in our house).
Dropped off the eldest to daycare then went to an appointment across town. Got home at 10am. Thank God the baby napped for a couple hours!! So did I.
Was having a real issue about what to have for dinner as my friend Karen was coming over. Normally I would put a pizza in the oven, have a huge ceasar salad and garlic bread, but that's no longer an option for me at this point. Even if I did limit myself and eat sensibly, there would be leftovers that I would binge on later that night, and it's just better if it's not in the house.
So, chicken breasts, boiled broccoli and a low-fat pasta "Sidedish" did the trick. It was quite yummy if I do say so myself.
Karen brought a small bottle of wine so I had 2 glasses but that's quite minimal compared to what I normally drink, so I didn't lose my motivation.
I also suprised myself by working out before she got there! I had the time so I thought, why not? I won't feel like it after she leaves and I would make excuses so I just put the baby in the jolly jumper beside me and turned on the DVD before I had time to think about it. Felt good, although I'm really sore today! It's nice to feel my muscles again!
I still have some calories to eat (as per my friend Vicki, I should not go under 1200 or my body will go into starvation mode and hoard all my fat) so I will have a nice snack before bed of rice cakes and maybe some low-fat cottage cheese. Hey - don't knock rice cakes til you try them! I'm lucky at least in the sense that I enjoy most foods, I'm not picky, so even if it's a rice cake, I'll like it! lol lol.
Weight: 158
Cals: (so far at 8:25pm) 900
Fat: 16gr
Workout: (Slim in 6) 27 min.
Dropped off the eldest to daycare then went to an appointment across town. Got home at 10am. Thank God the baby napped for a couple hours!! So did I.
Was having a real issue about what to have for dinner as my friend Karen was coming over. Normally I would put a pizza in the oven, have a huge ceasar salad and garlic bread, but that's no longer an option for me at this point. Even if I did limit myself and eat sensibly, there would be leftovers that I would binge on later that night, and it's just better if it's not in the house.
So, chicken breasts, boiled broccoli and a low-fat pasta "Sidedish" did the trick. It was quite yummy if I do say so myself.
Karen brought a small bottle of wine so I had 2 glasses but that's quite minimal compared to what I normally drink, so I didn't lose my motivation.
I also suprised myself by working out before she got there! I had the time so I thought, why not? I won't feel like it after she leaves and I would make excuses so I just put the baby in the jolly jumper beside me and turned on the DVD before I had time to think about it. Felt good, although I'm really sore today! It's nice to feel my muscles again!
I still have some calories to eat (as per my friend Vicki, I should not go under 1200 or my body will go into starvation mode and hoard all my fat) so I will have a nice snack before bed of rice cakes and maybe some low-fat cottage cheese. Hey - don't knock rice cakes til you try them! I'm lucky at least in the sense that I enjoy most foods, I'm not picky, so even if it's a rice cake, I'll like it! lol lol.
Weight: 158
Cals: (so far at 8:25pm) 900
Fat: 16gr
Workout: (Slim in 6) 27 min.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Day 2
Day 2 is going pretty well, despite the fact one of my kids was up at 4am and the other at 5am. I decided since we were up, we might as well go to Superstore, which opens at 7am. So I packed the kids and off we went about 7:45am. I got all my good, fat-free groceries which I was happy about!
Then I dropped my oldest off at daycare. At first the baby would not settle at all and my energy level was at an all-time low! Finally, after much fussiness, the baby finally went down for a lovely 3-hour nap, and so did I!
Oh and I found an incredible fat-free salad dressing while getting groceries - honey dijon by President's Choice - it is sooooooo yummy! I usually hate fat-free stuff but it's really tasty.
I was also happy that I was not incredibly sore from working out lastnight. I was a little achy but still did my whole workout tonight without much difficulty! I'm really hoping the 2 workout DVD's I ordered online Sunday night will be here soon.
One of the DVD's is a Jane Fonda workout. Ok, laugh as you will, but she, and the movie Flashdance, is what started me working out at age 12! For some reason, her workouts just work, and they are fun. She's the reason I maintained my 100-110 lbs throughout highschool. Well, that and starving myself...and taking laxatives like they were crack cocaine, if I have to be brutally honest! lol
Anyway, the other DVD is one by Jillian Michaels, one of the trainers on the show Biggest Loser.
I also have to mention how much better my stomach feels since I'm eating healthy and not bingeing.
Weight: 158.5 lbs
Cals: 1210
Fat: 34.5
Exercise: (Slim in 6) 27 min.
Monday, December 14, 2009
Day 1
Well, day 1 went quite well, as the first day usually does in any new regime! I was up quite early with the kids. Had my morning coffee and read the nutrition label on my Coffee Mate and decided I need to switch to the lowfat Coffee Mate. What surprised me the most today is that an egg has 5 grams of fat!! WTF? I know, I know, they are full of good stuff but it was shocking regardless. My plan today was to start reading the labels, calorie counting, fat counting. It really is an eye opener... let's just say I have some low-fat groceries to get tomorrow! I realized lots of my stuff is not bad in cals but is high in fat. So I made a list and off I will go!
The grocery store for me is quite the place - literally a kid in a candy store! A food addicts' dream. Although the real dream would be having the grocery store at your house where you can binge on ANYTHING 'til your heart's content without anyone seeing! lmao.
I do find going with a list is much better for me. I know I need to have approx 1200 cals/day and not more than 26 fat grams/day.
I also worked out tonight, first time in over a year. I know, I know, you're supposed to do it in the morning but you know what? I have 2 kids, 1 being a baby, and they are not going to sit around while mommy works out! I sleep when the baby naps because as a new mom I am sleep deprived so I'm going to take full advantage of any extra naptime for myself during the day!
But really, isn't it better to work out at night than to not work out at all? I think so. Plus, night time is when I pig out, so there's a 1/2 hour or an hour where I'm not thinking about what's in the fridge. I need to keep busy when the kids go to bed. And look, it's already 8:49 and I haven't gotten into my regular night time snacking. I don't plan on it either!
I also realize that what has become a bad habit of drinking wine every night has to cease, as once I get drinking, it's a good excuse to forget what I'm putting in my mouth. I get too relaxed when I drink and lose any motivation I have. I am also stopping my Lorazepam which I have been taking every night since my hubby started working out of town for the week. I have a hard time sleeping when he's not here, but the Lorazepam makes me want to snack.
I just have to keep telling myself one day at a time, and today I did good!!
Weight: 161 lbs
Calories today: 785 (which I know is not enough, it should be about 1200 minimum)
Fat Grams today: 29.75 (which should only be about 26/day)
Workout: (Slim in 6) 27 min.
The grocery store for me is quite the place - literally a kid in a candy store! A food addicts' dream. Although the real dream would be having the grocery store at your house where you can binge on ANYTHING 'til your heart's content without anyone seeing! lmao.
I do find going with a list is much better for me. I know I need to have approx 1200 cals/day and not more than 26 fat grams/day.
I also worked out tonight, first time in over a year. I know, I know, you're supposed to do it in the morning but you know what? I have 2 kids, 1 being a baby, and they are not going to sit around while mommy works out! I sleep when the baby naps because as a new mom I am sleep deprived so I'm going to take full advantage of any extra naptime for myself during the day!
But really, isn't it better to work out at night than to not work out at all? I think so. Plus, night time is when I pig out, so there's a 1/2 hour or an hour where I'm not thinking about what's in the fridge. I need to keep busy when the kids go to bed. And look, it's already 8:49 and I haven't gotten into my regular night time snacking. I don't plan on it either!
I also realize that what has become a bad habit of drinking wine every night has to cease, as once I get drinking, it's a good excuse to forget what I'm putting in my mouth. I get too relaxed when I drink and lose any motivation I have. I am also stopping my Lorazepam which I have been taking every night since my hubby started working out of town for the week. I have a hard time sleeping when he's not here, but the Lorazepam makes me want to snack.
I just have to keep telling myself one day at a time, and today I did good!!
Weight: 161 lbs
Calories today: 785 (which I know is not enough, it should be about 1200 minimum)
Fat Grams today: 29.75 (which should only be about 26/day)
Workout: (Slim in 6) 27 min.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Body
I am starting this blog because since I was 11 years old, I have had issues with food - thin or fat, starving myself or overeating, underweight or overweight, healthy or unhealthy, fit or unfit - I need a place to finally, and for once, vent all my feelings as I try once again to deal with this problem.
For the last several years I have had issues with binge eating...I use food as comfort. Comfort when I feel bad, lonely, tired, stressed, and also to reward myself in times of achievement, celebration, excitement, etc. In good mental health or bad mental health, it is a constant.
Food addiction is so unbearable because unlike other addictions like alcohol or drugs in which you abstain from the substance of addiction, you cannot abstain from food. As humans we need food to survive. You can't quit food.
I wake up the next day after a huge night-binge feeling guilty and disgusted. There is usually stomach problems in the morning as my body tries to rid itself of the vast amount of food I've consumed the night before. I not only feel gross physically, but mentally I am beating the shit out of myself as well. Day after day I tell myself I'm going to be good and eat healthy, and the next morning I'm feeling like shit again because I went on a bender with food. So I tell myself I'm not going to eat because one, my stomach is upset and two, I know as soon as I pop something in my mouth it could be the start of another binge. I don't even want to LOOK at food, but yet I know I eventually have to eat something to survive. It's such a vicious cycle, one I cannot seem to find my way out of after years of spinning in it.
Like most women, my body image affects my self image to a huge degree. When I'm thin, I feel good, but also terrified of getting fat again. I could lose control any minute. When I'm fat, I feel hopeless, guilty, out of control. I can't get rid of the bad feelings, thin or fat, although of course I'd prefer to be thin!
I had my second (and last) child 4 months ago and lost most of the baby weight immediately. Problem is, I was overweight even pre-baby so I'm still overweight even after losing the baby weight. For a few weeks now I've been trying to gear up to make a huge change in my life. I had a work party the other night and when I looked in the mirror, I knew it was finally time to put this in motion. I always feel I can hide my weight with certain clothes but this time, there's no hiding it. I'm bulging out everywhere and it's gross. I HAVE to do something, and NOW!!
I want to lose about 30 pounds, which would get me down to a healthy weight that I previously felt quite good and healthy at. I want to start exercising again at least 5 days a week.
Tomorrow is the starting day. To celebrate I ate a HUGE dinner, dessert, and just had some chips and dip, go figure. Isn't that what addicts do when they know they're going to rehab? I'm no different! Anyway, I will use this blog to detail my journey. I hope you enjoy.
For the last several years I have had issues with binge eating...I use food as comfort. Comfort when I feel bad, lonely, tired, stressed, and also to reward myself in times of achievement, celebration, excitement, etc. In good mental health or bad mental health, it is a constant.
Food addiction is so unbearable because unlike other addictions like alcohol or drugs in which you abstain from the substance of addiction, you cannot abstain from food. As humans we need food to survive. You can't quit food.
I wake up the next day after a huge night-binge feeling guilty and disgusted. There is usually stomach problems in the morning as my body tries to rid itself of the vast amount of food I've consumed the night before. I not only feel gross physically, but mentally I am beating the shit out of myself as well. Day after day I tell myself I'm going to be good and eat healthy, and the next morning I'm feeling like shit again because I went on a bender with food. So I tell myself I'm not going to eat because one, my stomach is upset and two, I know as soon as I pop something in my mouth it could be the start of another binge. I don't even want to LOOK at food, but yet I know I eventually have to eat something to survive. It's such a vicious cycle, one I cannot seem to find my way out of after years of spinning in it.
Like most women, my body image affects my self image to a huge degree. When I'm thin, I feel good, but also terrified of getting fat again. I could lose control any minute. When I'm fat, I feel hopeless, guilty, out of control. I can't get rid of the bad feelings, thin or fat, although of course I'd prefer to be thin!
I had my second (and last) child 4 months ago and lost most of the baby weight immediately. Problem is, I was overweight even pre-baby so I'm still overweight even after losing the baby weight. For a few weeks now I've been trying to gear up to make a huge change in my life. I had a work party the other night and when I looked in the mirror, I knew it was finally time to put this in motion. I always feel I can hide my weight with certain clothes but this time, there's no hiding it. I'm bulging out everywhere and it's gross. I HAVE to do something, and NOW!!
I want to lose about 30 pounds, which would get me down to a healthy weight that I previously felt quite good and healthy at. I want to start exercising again at least 5 days a week.
Tomorrow is the starting day. To celebrate I ate a HUGE dinner, dessert, and just had some chips and dip, go figure. Isn't that what addicts do when they know they're going to rehab? I'm no different! Anyway, I will use this blog to detail my journey. I hope you enjoy.
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